African parents are the best they will love you but discipline you when you do something wrong. The African parent believes more in showing more discipline and showing less love. Let me explain this don’t get me wrong they love you but they prefer to hide the love under a whole lot of discipline (rules & regulations). I’ve heard so many stories about rebellious children. I mean after all the discipline, we sometimes expect that the children will turn out perfect some of them do others don’t.
How to be an effective parent;
1. Talk to your children
Instead of being so uptight why don’t you speak to your children about what the problem is sometimes it’s not all about the yelling and putting fear in the person but when they understand reasons why it will be much easier for the child to adjust.
2. Tell them you love them
African parents will not say “I love you” to their children which is very bad. Give your children words of affirmation. Tell them you love them and how beautiful or handsome they are. Make them feel good about themselves. You build your child’s self esteem from home. Sometimes we tend to think that they develop certain things on their own but the truth is they learn from their childhood. Give them room to shine.
Some African parents live with their kids like it’s a business arrangement. They also get mad when their kids don’t open up to them. Build a relationship with your children. Be friends with your kids and they’ll tell you everything. Let them feel free around you not to the extent of being insulted by your kids no. Just be there for them as a parent and a friend too when they need one.
4. Stop comparing your kids with each other or with others peoples kids.
This is one of the things that kills the self esteem of the kids. No two individuals are the same they may even be identical twins but no two people are exactly the same. One may like butter the other may like cheese. One may be extremely intelligent & the other may be an average student but is very artistic. Don’t make them feel like one is superior and the other is not. Don’t create rivalry between your kids. They may have their moments but help them love each other more don’t separate them especially due to educational performances.
5. Stop shouting at your kids at any chance you get.
Kids will be kids and they need to be disciplined yes but don’t shout at them all the time for unnecessary things. This will make your kids timid and very dull. At the end of the day, they can’t express themselves even when something is wrong with them. They will be scared of you and at some point they will become defensive because they always feel attacked. Love your kids and allow them to be verbally expressive. I’ve seen children who like to ask a lot of questions but their parents say their acting like adults and shut them down immediately. This is not good encourage your children teach them more, answer their questions and give them room to shine.
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If you have the courage send this to your parents. They might learn something new.
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