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Why Some Want Gifts And Others Don’t

What are love languages?

The Love languages describe the way we feel loved and appreciated. Depending on our individual personality types, we may feel loved differently than how our partners do. Understanding and decoding the love languages will help take the guesswork out of your partner’s expectations and needs. According to Dr. Chapman (1995) Author of 5 love languages , there are five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. According to this theory, each person has one primary and one secondary love language. The primary love language is usually dominant.

1. Words of Affirmation

Expressing affection through spoken affection, praise, or appreciation. This is through verbal communication and it’s usually in the form of compliments, praise or words of appreciation. Words like

“You look beautiful”

“I love the way you are always on time for our dates”

“I love your haircut it makes you look sharp”.

All these are words that encourages your partner. The little words makes them feel loved.

2. Quality time

We have demand for time in our relationships. It’s not just about being together with each other but being able to spend quality time where your partner has your undivided attention. It’s not about being together to watch Netflix but having actual moments and talking with each other. Every time you cancel a date, postpone time together or aren’t present during your time together, it can be hurtful to your partner.

3. Receiving gifts

You must be thinking of someone to be able to give them a gift. A gift is a symbol of thought. Sometimes it’s not about the price of the gift but the thought that counts. Sometimes you are not a gift giver but your partner’s primary love language is receiving gifts, you need to learn how to be a giver. Remember it’s not about the price of the gift but the thought. Not all ladies have this as their primary love language.

4. Acts of service

This is when you show love through your actions. You know what your partner would like you to do and you doing it for him/her. You please him/her by serving her which is expressing your love for them by serving them. Actions such as cooking, cleaning the house or even doing laundry is considered as acts of service. All of these things must be done with positivity and with your partner’s ultimate happiness in mind and consider it an expression of love. These require thought, time, energy and effort.

5. Physical touch

Physical touch seems to be important to some people because they associate it with love. Not everyone feels like this. Love touches require little time but much thought, especially if physical touch is not your primary love language and if you did not grow up in a “touching family.” If physical touch is a person’s primary love language without it they will feel unloved. All of the words and gifts in the world won’t change that. Even just holding hands could be enough for someone.

How do I know my love language?

If you are not sure what your love languages are you can take a quiz to determine what your secondary and primary love languages are. Click love languages to find out.

Knowing your love language is important especially in relationships.

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